I have actually been dead once for over a minute at the age of around 3. My father was a doctor otherwise I would have remained dead for a bit longer and more permanently. He performed CPR and saved me that day and inflicted upon the world my verbal diarrhoea.

And maybe I was too young or something but I don’t remember a tunnel or white lights or anything. Or maybe Hindu heaven is more subdued or something (as I was back then a Hindu, default setting by virtue of being born in a Hindu household, much like a mobile phone’s default factory settings). In fact the only recollection I have of the incident is of waking up much later and seeing my parents’ and relatives huddled around me deeply worried.  I was too young back then but if that happened now I would be so disappointed if in what I mistook for heaven, all I get to meet are my family. Where do I sign on for the 72 virgins deal?


Well as an atheist heaven would be zilch, so anywhere else would be not heaven. (And non-existent, so there’s the plus side).

There was a time in medical school when I was obsessed with death and the various post death scenarios we usually speculate about. At the time it seemed like if there was an afterlife the very argument that it’s a parallel dimension makes it unverifiable.  But that’s the beauty of faith related science, you got to take it on faith, empirical evidence be damned. Then I started reading about views of various religions on death. As I went through a normal doctor’s routine along with the metaphysical takes on death I found them amusing, poignant and delusional to various degrees.

But hey I can understand why all of us need a safety blanket, the world is big and vast and so bloody dark. Plus there are movies like The Ring. So from a kid who died once (cf. the boy who lived) to an adult who knows that ultimately he would only die once, from a decently religious kid to a nearly pompous atheist, I have rationalized all the things I do or want to do by invoking the YOLO clause (Pretty annoying but convenient word to cover up for the stupid shit you want to do or end up doing).


For one day I would die; full stop and all in the right place. Hopefully not very young, neither too old (unless they invent rejuvenation in the meanwhile, then really really old would be the way to go.); and this time I hope I don’t wake up to anything. After all the atheist rationalization I would feel very stupid then and have a pissed off omnipotent entity to fend off to boot.

By- Aseem Mahajan

Disclaimer: I don’t mean to hurt anybody’s religious sentiments, this is just an expression of my own belief system. Atheist and Pastafarian, all hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster

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