My favourite novel of all time.Comi-tragic is defined by works such as these.There are so many lines haunting in their beauty and hilarious in a poignant way that make this novel one of the best ever written. Of all the novels with their theme as indictment of war I believe nothing captures the slaughter of the innocent and the life long nightmares suffered by survivors as well as Kurt Vonnegut did in his masterpiece.Only Catch 22 comes close,at least in my opinion.
It is described under the genre of science fiction too and rated as one of the top novels across genres by every leading literary review.Here are some lines that make this special-
“You were just babies then!” she said.
“What?” I said.
“You were just babies in the war like the ones upstairs!”
I nodded that this was true. We had been foolish virgins in the war, right at the end of childhood.
“But you’re not going to write it that way, are you.” This wasn’t a question. It was an accusation.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Well I know,” she said. “You’ll pretend you were men instead of babies, and you’ll be portrayed in the movies by Frank Sinatra and John Wayne or some of those other glamorous, war-loving, dirty old men. And war will look just wonderful, so we’ll have a lot more of them. And they’ll be fought by babies like the babies upstairs.”
So then I understood. It was war that made her so angry. She didn’t want her babies or anybody else’s babies killed in wars. And she thought wars were partly encouraged by books and movies.
So I held up my right hand and I made her a promise:
“Mary,” I said, “I don’t think this book of mine is ever going to be finished. I must have written five thousand pages by now, and thrown them all away. If I ever do finish it, though, I give you my word of honor: there won’t be a part for Frank Sinatra or John Wayne.
“I tell you what,” I said, “I’ll call it The Children’s Crusade.”
She was my friend after that.
the wife of an old war buddy accusing the author, who is writing a book about the destruction by bombing of Dresden, Germany in World War II

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
It is so short and jumbled and jangled, Sam, because there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds.
And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like “Poo-tee-weet?”

The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.
When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in bad condition in the particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is “So it goes.”
Billy writing a letter to a newspaper describing the Tralfamadorians

Billy had a framed prayer on his office wall which expressed his method for keeping going, even though he was unenthusiastic about living. A lot of patients who saw the prayer on Billy’s wall told him that it helped them to keep going, too. It went like this: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” Among the things Billy Pilgrim could not change were the past, the present, and the future.

American planes, full of holes and wounded men and corpses, took off backwards from an airfield in England. Over France, a few German fighter planes flew at them backwards, sucked bullets and shell fragments from some of the planes and crewmen. They did the same for wrecked American bombers on the ground, and those planes flew up backwards to join the formation.
The formation flew backwards over a German city that was in flames. The bombers opened their bomb bay doors, exerted a miraculous magnetism which shrunk the fires, gathered them into cylindrical steel containers, and lifted the containers into the bellies of the planes. The Germans below had miraculous devices of their own, which were long steel tubes. They used them to suck more fragments from the crewmen and planes. But there were still a few wounded Americans, though, and some of the bombers were in bad repair. Over France, though, German fighters came up again, made everything and everybody as good as new.
When the bombers got back to their base, the steel cylinders were taken from the racks and shipped back to the United States of America, where factories were operating night and day, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous contents into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground, to hide them cleverly, so they would never hurt anybody ever again.
The American fliers turned in their uniforms, became high school kids. And Hitler turned into a baby, Billy Pilgrim supposed. That wasn’t in the movie. Billy was extrapolating. Everybody turned into a baby, and all humanity, without exception, conspired biologically to produce two perfect people named Adam and Eve, he supposed.

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IN-VIVA

Posted: 10th December 2010 by aseem.ace in Opinions
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The misery of a viva is a thing everyone who has ever been a student is familiar with.
The entry into the prof’s or teacher’s room revokes the images of a bleating goat being led into the sacrificial chamber.
And how you wish you could also bleat in fear but supremely confident appearance is one of the criteria for a successful viva.
But ever since I became insane (my friends help me push the date back frequently) I have started enjoying the viva voce. I nearly burst out laughing at my miserable vivas. Sometimes I really want to laugh aloud and tap the back of my questioner in sympathy. In those moments I realise that I have finally become the crackpot I was destined to be.
I feel elated instead of depressed after every miserable viva of mine. I really love coming back to my room after a viva; putting the latch and then putting some head banging song on my speakers.Then I dance (a very polite term for my kicking and flailing my arms about).
In those moments I feel really alive.All in all the misery of viva is elevated by insanity into a nice experience.

By -Aseem Mahajan

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Last Winter

Posted: 10th December 2010 by aseem.ace in Poems
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The chill of last winter is still in their bones,

Their very souls froze at a brush of the cold stones,

The fire in their hearth burned strong and bright ,

Yet against the chill of the heart, it provided no respite,

For the winter’s chill was not due to the freezing winds alone,

It was rendered colder by many a pain filled moan,

For beseeching eyes seeked but a beacon of hope,

But misery marred the horizon and they broke,

They broke due to the chill and their incessant pain,

They broke such that they could never really heal again,

They shed copious tears as fear, grief and despair beset their soul,

Their very being shattered into a thousand fragments which never could
coalesce to a whole,

For they saw life pouring out of their child’s shell,

A torture far greater than all the torments of hell,

The chill seemed to feed off their weary demeanor,

And fate and cruel nature colluded to provide no succor,

As life ebbed away wasting the apple of their eyes,

They asked the inevitable question that arises as a loved one dies,

Why do we have to undergo this horrific pain which our fabric seems to
unravel?

Why cruel separation when supposedly to the same post mortal realm we all
inescapably travel?

Faith, its lack or abundance, both proved futile in their quest for sanity
and solace,

Time- the great healer; their only hope to emerge out of their grieving
phase,

To a semblance of normality as time threatened to unravel the carefully
created spools of life,

As inexorably the Indifferent nature goes about its mundane tasks unmindful
of human need and strife

By-Aseem Mahajan

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My Take on Micro-Managers

Posted: 9th December 2010 by Aditya Mahajan in Thoughts
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What I have observed over a period of time is that a lot of bosses think that the number of hours you spend in office is proportional to your performance. I have heard, that a manager virtually told a colleague of mine from my last organization that , “We (managers) feel good when we see people sitting in their seats at 900 PM in the Night” … can you imagine how sadistically moronotic statement is that. 🙂
I don’t know how this notion even crops up in the mind of moronic manager. My personal take is that the quality of work is directly proportional to the effort you put in and not the number of hours you spend in office, a person X can give the same output in 8 -9 hours while another person Y might need to work 12 hours just to match X’s 8 hours of work. I am not implicating here that the person Y is dumb (while in some cases this might be true…:) ) , its just the difference in the working style can also explain the anomaly.

My personal working style is the former , I prefer to come early to office and leave on time after finishing my work and if its the need of the hour or demand of the project, I am least hesitant to stay late or work from home till late hours. But this is not true for everyday or every weekend or every hour. I was told one fine day that ,”You need to spend more time in office.” , I asked “Why? I do all my work and that also before deadlines…” ..pat comes the answer.. “Because I want you to…” …I say in my mind …”WTF? ..is this guy out of bloody mind?”. When managers try and force things on people the result is negativity and low productivity instead of the intended work machines and above all the manager loses the respect and the faith of the subordinate. The more you follow the hitting with the stick approach , the more dissatisfied and angry your employees become and the more they don’t want to work. We are humans and not robotic assembly lines, where production can go on for 24 hours. There are some labor laws too, for god’s sake, atleast follow those. Dominating managers are like …”I feel good, when I see blood” and they want everybody to bloody work on weekends, after office and stay late in office too. 🙂 without the slightest considerations for people’s personal times.

I think the best managers are those who give the right to work and the freedom to work independently without unnecessary pressures and strings attached. I have seen that the people are most productive and creative when they are let alone to decide , how they want to do things and in how much time they want to do the thing, until of course they are meeting deadlines. It would amuse me to find a person not happy with his manager and at the same time be more committed to his work if he is given work freedom. The managers should learn to trust the ability of their underlings and not hover like a humming bird over their heads, just noting down how much time they spend in the office. I don’t mean to imply that people start spending 2 hours in office , but yes , if they are spending the minimum quota and are taking good care of their assignments, just let go of all your doubts and trust them blindly, they will be more productive than they would be otherwise. They would themselves want to sit late or work from home to complete their assigned tasks before time and that too with the best possible quality.

Hence Quality is proportional to the trust and the freedom to work and not the number of hours of forced labor.

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The listening writing Pen

Posted: 9th December 2010 by Aditya Mahajan in Gadgets
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I think everybody must have thought after reading notes taken down about 6 months back that how great it would have been if the speaker would be here again to explain everything to me. It often happens that we tend to forget a lot of critical and noteworthy things after a class or a session and are left with random thoughts in mind which we can sometimes connect and sometimes cannot and a lot of information is lost or manipulated in this process.

Here is the solution to all your problems. The Livescribe Echo Smartpen ($150-$200) which is available in the 4Gb and 8Gb versions comes with a special notebook and the pen can simply record the speaker’s voice or your discussion while you are taking notes on this special notebook and later on you can tap on written area and it would play the conversation or the speech back to you recorded at this point of the notes. Other features include app compatibility, easily replaceable ink cartridges, an OLED display, soft rubber grip, a rechargeable battery.

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One of my favorite songs.A really passionate song from this virtuoso.


Here are the lyrics-

Sweet dreams, all met with derision
This train, it was armed for collision
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame

Clap your hands in the sparkle and glitter
Shake your heads at the twisted and bitter
Oh, they don’t know how lucky they are

Foot down for the alienation
Look on as your love, it gets lost in translation
To a language that nobody understands

But there are smiles as they erode and corrupt you
Of the great expectations you could never live up to
We are lost, we are lost, we are lost

Get your coat, because the righteous are leaving
Because they can’t work out what the hell to believe in
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame

No abandon, no heartfelt desire
No love could be worth getting fired
For real, it’s surreal, it’s so real

So paint over the cracks and then cover
What you thought was the worst-ever pain with another
And the first one, it always comes free

How they love you, so cold and so vicious
With friends like these, well, who needs politicians
The first one, it always comes free
They tell you heroin tastes like ice cream

Clever men know all that and all this
And they will talk and they will talk and they don’t fucking listen
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame

It’s no life, but God, it’s a living
Come on, Jesus Christ, come back, all is forgiven
We are lost, we are lost, we are lost

Have no fear of the state of the nation
Let the facts have no bearing on public relations
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame

What a model of Christian behaviour
Preach on with the message of “Go fuck thy neighbour”
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame
A shame, it’s a shame

Watch your step by the crowd of fanatics
While they kill in the name of applied mathematics
And you hate the system even though you invented it
Go kill your brothers and claim self defense of it
Picking up all the secrets and the tricks to being
One of the guys whom the shit never sticks to
Take your seats for the final calamity
Don’t you look so serious, hell, what can the matter be?
Another day and the rot’s getting faster
And all the machines started killing their master
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame

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Hobbes: Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?


Calvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it’s funny. Don’t you think it’s odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?
Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
Calvin: (after a long pause) I can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.


Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin: Too few role models.
Calvin: I’ll be the fearless American defender of liberty and democracy… and you can be the loathsome godless communist oppressor. We’re at war, so if you get hit with a dart, you’re dead and the other side wins, OK?
Hobbes: Gotcha.
Calvin: GO! (WAP-WAP they shoot each other simultaneously) Kind of a stupid game,isn’t it?


Calvin: Dad, where do babies come from?
Calvin’s Dad: Most people just go to Sears, buy the assembly kit, and read the instructions.
Calvin: I CAME FROM SEARS?!?!
Dad: No, you were a Blue Light Special at Kmart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper.
Calvin: AAUUGHHH!
Calvin’s Mom: Dear, what are you telling him now?!


Calvin: I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

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