Well what do I write about today? The blank document teased him. He wanted to beat the white space filled with oodles of nothingness into submission. He wanted fame, glory and to make a living writing and this damn white Microsoft Word document had the gumption to mock him.
He produced black letters on the previously blank space but it was more a matter of form rather than actual material. One small victory over nothingness on the blank canvas the document was touting itself to be. He smiled with an acerbic expression and a glib retort on his lips as he fought with a silent yet unassailable foe. For every page he covered there would be infinite more challenging him to defend his honour. Those fighting the mythological Hydra had a better job, they had to contend with a multiplication into 2, and here he had to face the infinitely renewable Microsoft Word page.
He would go down valiantly he thought, he scribbled on (and as you read on, this is useless prattle, get some constructive thing done, you noob, you). Well, well, well, a quarter of a page down and with the images to come I might just conquer one page the quivering writer thought, a facile victory but meaningful to him in his own way.
He thought of all the victories in his life and thought of writing about them. Nah, maybe some other day, he procrastinated. Then maybe his failures, well that should slaughter many a blank pages. But maybe some other ‘days’, one day was simply not enough to list them all down after all.
So maybe politics? Religion? Nature? Traveling? Sports? Cars? Bikes?
Well when you are rolling with the punches,
Sometimes you just run out of hunches,
Of what to think about in a particular moment;
And what to write about to your readers torment.
Well he had a nice ditty going there, right?
Row, row, row the boat, gently down the stream,
Please don’t tear your hair out and please don’t scream.
Then he decided to admit to struggling with his random rant and decided to wrap it up. So here goes another sentence … ( the imaginary reader in his head shouted -Well, be done already).
Bye bye poor reader. I am sorry for wasting your time but more about wasting my time, but we won and one page had to lose to unremitting human thought and the incessant drivel we are capable of. Yay, for small meaningless victories 😛
By- Aseem Mahajan
P.S Due to usual signature below an office mail almost signed off with thanks and regards.
P.P.S. If you actually had the patience to read the whole thing and you are even reading this you really need more interesting hobbies my friend.
